Deep
by Betty BOKOR
Summary: SamDaniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and she decides to change the odds in her life, but she does not count on Vala.
1. Chapter 1

**DEEP – I. Deep Down** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Down**

**Chapter 1**

Daniel had noticed before. It had been a constant in the last years and he somehow had understood it. He had tried many times to address the problem, to find a solution, to help. It had been fruitless. However, now it was affecting Sam and _that _he could not live with. He needed to do something.

He asked for a short leave –he did not want the SGC to find a good excuse to bring him back during the weekend– and he took a plane to D.C. He got a room in a hotel near Jack's house because he did not want to impose on his friend; he had not even called to tell him about his coming to Washington. Besides, he was not sure that Jack would still be talking to him after he confronted him.

On Friday evening he went by a local market and got a pack of Jack's favorite beer. Then, he picked up a couple of pizzas and drove his rental car toward the outskirts of town. He had already been twice to the small house Jack had bought in the tranquil neighborhood. He knew his way well.

Near 7:00 he parked his car on the opposite side of the street in front of Jack's place. He wanted to be sure that his friend had no other guests. He rang the bell and Jack's face showed how surprised he was as soon as he opened the door.

"Hey, I was driving by and-"

"Daniel? What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting. Brought some beer and pizza…"

Jack helped him with his packages and soon they were installed in the living room. For a while they talked about how everything was going at the SGC and how hard it still was for Jack to survive the every day bureaucracy at the Pentagon. They had had many talks before about why Jack thought he had to be there and how beneficial for everybody at the SGC that was, but Daniel had always thought there was something else that Jack did not want to talk about.

After a couple of beers –Daniel had not even finished the first one– Jack finally had to ask.

"Now, Daniel, are you going to tell me why you're here and why you didn't even bring any luggage?"

"I'm staying at a hotel near here." Jack did not even blink, but Daniel felt he was asking for a better explanation. "I didn't want to impose-" Jack made a small gesture to refute him, "more than I will with what I have to say." Jack sat back on the sofa and waited. "The truth is I came because I needed to talk to you, really talk to you, and I couldn't let it go any longer."

"About?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"What about me?"

"Do you remember when we were in Abydos for the first time?"

"Yes," Jack answered with a questioning look.

"When we had our little conversation," Daniel moved uncomfortably in his armchair, "about wanting to die or wanting to live…"

"Yes," Jack said again with the same look.

"I know you really wanted to die then. I know how hard it had affected you to lose Charlie, because I know by my own experience-" He sighed and looked at his hands. "I have lost much, too."

"I know," Jack said softly.

Daniel raised his head and Jack saw that he had been trying –in vain– to keep the tears from his eyes. "But when I came back, when I was so lost after Sha're was taken, you had hope again. Even after you lost Sara, you had hope, and you shared it with me. I couldn't have gone through those times on my own. You were there every time I needed someone to lean on; you-"

"Daniel," Jack interrupted, keeping his eyes on the can of beer, "we've talked about this. We don't need to-"

"Jack, let me finish, please. It's more than that." Jack nodded and kept quiet. "Something happened later; I still don't know what. For a while I thought I had hurt you badly after what happened on Shyla's planet, and at the base when we came back, but by then you were still my best friend-"

"You mean I'm not anymore?"

"I don't know, Jack. Are we still friends?"

"I don't know why you'd ask such a dumb question."

"I'm not going to let it go tonight. I'm here to talk and I'm not leaving until everything has been said."

"What else do you have to say?"

"We're still talking about our friendship. What happened? I've tried to talk about it before, but you've always been reluctant to even mention it. Now, I want to know."

"Nothing happened, Daniel. We're still friends."

"But-"

"But nothing. I changed, not our relationship."

"When I ascended, the first time, I couldn't feel the connection anymore. There was something tenuous, like a memory of what we had shared."

"It was my problem, Daniel. It's always been me."

"You what?"

"I can't take it anymore. The losing, the killing, the dying… When I was in Ba'al's prison, I really wanted to die, once and for all. I just wanted it to be someone else's problem. I was done with it. I did my part; I tried my best. Enough."

"That's why you accepted to command the SGC and why you came here?"

"That's part of it. Daniel, I'm old, I'm tired. I have this emptiness inside me and nothing will ever fill it. I may have survived Charlie, but I'm not the same. I won't be ever again."

"Nobody is asking you to be the same, but it's been getting worse-"

"You don't understand, Daniel. I don't want to see more death around me. Every time I had to lie to a mother or a father about how their son or daughter died… Every time I saw the same pain in their eyes that I had inside and I knew it would never go away- I can't do it anymore, Daniel." Daniel tried to say something, but Jack stopped him and continued. "Ah, no. You wanted to know, you'll have to listen now. Everybody thinks that all that sarcasm and that hardness is an act, but it's not, Daniel. It's how I feel. I can't see the bright side like you do. I only see the dark one and the darker, too. When you disappeared the last time, when you _died_ the last time, I just couldn't take it. Carter thinks I was optimistic. I was in denial; there was no way I was going to let you go. As long as I didn't know, you were out there, somewhere. I wasn't going to have another service for you; it would have killed me. That's why I had to get out of there. You've become my Charlie. You'll never replace him, but you have the place in my life that he should have had-" Daniel's eyes were full of tears and he could not talk. "And I let you get out there every day and risk your life for the greater good, for a bunch of people who don't even care. Do you understand? We put our lives on the line every minute and I can't see why it's worth it anymore. I just want to go to my cabin and forget about the Goa'uld, the Ori, the SGC, and everything else. But I can't, I have a duty, so I'll do it, but don't ask me to smile and be friendly. I need to be like this. I need to shut off every day when I get out of there and lose myself in a hockey game and a beer. It's my protection against madness."

"How can I help you?" Daniel asked containing the tears.

"That's it, you can't. Nobody can. I don't want help. I just don't want to have to think about it."

"That's escapism-"

"So what?"

"You're better than that."

"That's where you're wrong!" Jack yelled. "I'm not better than that! Carter and you have all these expectations from me. Just like Charlie and Sara. And I failed all of you-"

"If you've failed us, then we've failed you, Jack. We haven't been able to get through that shell you've created and help you."

"Daniel, I said it. You can't help, because I don't want to lose my shell. I want it to stay there and protect me from the pain."

"It's also separating you from the good things, from any happiness you could get."

"Like what?"

"What about Sam?"

"What about her?"

"Oh, come on, Jack. I know how you feel about her, even if we've never talked about it. And she feels the same way about you."

"She has told you that?"

"No, not exactly. I haven't asked about that. I didn't want to interfere. We talk about everything else, but I've always avoided this subject. I thought I was too near to give any good advice."

"Well, there will never be anything to talk about."

"Why? Why do you close yourself to a chance of happiness?"

"Daniel, I like Carter." He sighed. "I like Sam. I'll admit to that. I think she's an extraordinary woman, but I could never make her happy. I know it now."

"What has changed? All these years I've seen you two playing this game of mutual attraction, the looks, the words unsaid, the pauses-"

"That was just it, for both of us."

"Have you talked about it with her?"

"No and I won't either. It was good while it lasted. I kept the hope that someday I'd do something about it, but now I know it's not possible anymore."

"Now it _is _possible. Things have changed."

"It really doesn't matter. Have you ever though that if we had really wanted it badly enough any of us could have resigned the commission and let it happen? But we never did; there were too many other things that we thought were more important. And then, there was Pete."

"What about Pete? She left him for you."

"Ha! That's were you're wrong, my friend. She didn't leave him for me," Jack said with a strange smile.

"What do you mean?"

"That's when I put it all together. Kerry thought that Sam and I had something, but she was wrong, too. What Sam wants is a little house with a husband and children, just like anyone else. That's what Pete would have given her. She even talked to me about having children with him."

"You're right, she wants a family, but she wants you to be the head of that family."

"I can't give her that."

"Why not?"

"I told you. I can't go through that again. I won't risk it. I wouldn't survive another hit."

"That's cowardice! You're not going to take a chance to be happy for fear of losing it?"

"You have no right to tell me that. What have you risked lately besides your life? I know for a fact that you're not grieving for Sha're anymore, especially since you came back. Why haven't you gotten in a relationship yourself?"

"I don't even know any women, Jack. I'm always at my office or off-world-"

"There are plenty of women at the SGC if you wanted to do something about it. Some of them are quite _smitten_ with you already," Jack replied with a broad smile.

"I don't have much in common with most of them-"

"You have with Sam. You're like two drops of water."

"Sam and I are friends, that's it."

"You don't see it, do you?"

"What?"

"You'll never find another woman because no one is like Sam."

"I know that Sam is very special, but she's not-"

"What prompted you to come all the way here today?"

"What?" Daniel asked as if lost.

"Come on, Danny-boy. You've tried to talk about all this plenty of times, but, every time I stopped you, you backed off. Today, you're on a mission. What brought you here?"

Daniel sat back and sighed. He put his almost full can of beer on the table and looked at Jack. "Sam is hurting. She doesn't want to talk about it and it has to be you. That's the only thing she doesn't talk to me about."

"There's one more thing she won't talk about." Jack straightened at the edge of the sofa and looked at Daniel with a knowing look. "You."

"Me? She talks about me. She's always mothering me like if I were four. You both could adopt me. When Vala was there-"

"Ha! How did she treat Vala?"

"She was polite with her, as she's with everybody, but I know she was upset because of what Vala had done with the bracelets and-"

"She was jealous."

"No, she wasn't! Why would she be jealous? She's as bright as Vala, she's also beautiful and she's not annoying."

"So you think that Vala is beautiful _and_ bright."

"Well, you have to admit that she's an attractive woman. She's different than Sam, but she's beautiful on her own way. Besides, she proved how bright she is when she escaped from the guards of the Prometheus, _after _I had captured her, and also when she destroyed the Ori beachhead."

"So, if she's all that, why were you so pissed when she got you with the bracelet-things?"

"That I consider her nice and intelligent doesn't mean that I want to be chained to her forever. It's not like I love her."

"Like you love Sam."

"Yes."

"You _do_ love Sam."

"Of course I love her."

"You're in love with her."

"Sure. No! That's not what I meant. I'm not in love with her."

"Who do you go to see first thing every morning? With whom do you share most of your free afternoons and evenings? Who did you last take to the cinema?"

"Jack, stop it. That's true. I do all those things with Sam, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with her either."

"Yes, it does."

"Does not."

"Does too"

"No, it doesn't, Jack."

"Daniel, you can deny it as long as you want, but I know it. I know you're in love with Carter, and you've been in love with her for a long time, very long time. I don't know why you don't want to accept it, not even to yourself, but I think it's time that you admit to your feelings and do something about it."

"I've always known Sam and you would end up together."

"I know you wouldn't have gotten between us, but there's never really been an _us_. Why are you so unwilling to admit what you feel? You've never consciously thought about it?"

"I know how special Sam is, Jack. I just try not to think about her that way."

"You try, but you must have thought about it at least once."

Daniel had moved forward on his chair during the discussion. Now he went back on it and leaned his head on its back. "Once."

"Aha! When?"

"On Vis Uban."

"What did you think?"

"She said all these beautiful things about me… They didn't sound right; it sounded like she was biased-"

"It sounded like she loved you?"

"Like she cared very much about me."

"Did you ask her?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"She put me right back in my place. _'W__e were really, really good friends,'_ she said. Then, my memories started coming back and I knew she was right."

"Was that all?"

Daniel hesitated for a second and then he said, "No, not really. I thought I had these feelings, for a while. That I cared for her more than that. Then, I had to let them go. They weren't right."

"Then you suppressed them, you mean. You forbid yourself to go there. I know you, Daniel."

"So what? Even if I had felt that way, it's not the case now and she doesn't feel that way either."

"I think she does. Maybe we all three love her that way, even Teal'c, and maybe she loves all three of us. These last ten years have changed us and we've bonded in ways not many people ever get to be, but the truth is that if that were the case, _you_are the only one who could make her happy."

"Why me?"

"What do you think Sam and I could do in the afternoons? What could we share that we both care about? Don't look at me like that, Daniel. I know we could have sex, but that's not enough to make a person happy. It could help, for a little while, but then the thrill would be gone and there'd be nothing left. Besides, I mean it. I don't want to change what I have now. I won't get in any long-term relationships. This is my life now and I'm dealing with it. I need this peace. I need to be alone until I'm ready to risk again, if I ever get there. Sam can't wait for me. She needs someone who can give her that life that she wants now and she deserves it. How many years does she have left for having children? She's running out of time."

"So she should settle for me?"

"She was willing to settle for Pete and he doesn't even rise half way up to you."

"To you."

"No, I mean it. To you. She's not been looking for another _me_ these years. She left Jonas Hansen behind-"

"You're nothing like him."

"But I'm closer to him than to all the other men we've seen her close to in these ten years. Narim, Martouf, even Joe Faxon, or Orlin, who do you think they were like? Me?"

"Jack…"

"Open your eyes, Daniel, before it's too late, before she founds another Pete and she lets go. Before you lose _your_ chance at happiness. Go home and think about it. Then you call me and you give me some good news."


	2. Chapter 2

**DEEP – I. Deep Down** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Down**

**Chapter 2**

Daniel spent the weekend with Jack. They found a quiet stream and Daniel agreed to fish. Then they went kayaking and Jack agreed to take lessons with Daniel. They had a fun weekend, but they did not talk about serious matters anymore. Jack had said everything he wanted to say and Daniel knew the answers to what he wanted to know. He had new questions, though. He would have to work through them on his own. Later, when he went back home.

On Monday afternoon, after a busy day at the base, Daniel went by Sam's office.

"Hey, Sam. Are you going to stay late today?"

"You're ready to go? Wow! You're sure you're not feverish?" she said with a smile.

"No, I'm not sick, but I'd really like you to go out with me. I found this new small coffee shop and I thought-"

"Sure, Daniel. Let me shut this down and get my coat. I'd love to go with you," she said still smiling.

Daniel was not certain, but he thought that, maybe, he could let a little hope come out. At least he was going to try this time.


	3. Chapter 3

**DEEP – II. Deep Inside** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Inside**

**Chapter 1**

Sam woke up slightly confused. The last memory she had was lying down in one of the Infirmary beds after Dr. Lam had told her she would have to stay the night. She wanted to complain, but knew it would be useless. She had received a tough blow to the head and she needed to stay for observation.

Nevertheless, this room did not look like the Infirmary. She was not certain, because it was rather dark, but she would have sworn the morning sun was filtering from behind the window curtains. There was no sun so many levels under… Curtains? She hastily sat up and a wave of nausea hit her hard. She noticed immediately than her body had changed; she was bigger… She was… pregnant?

"Are you all right?"

The voice from behind her surprised her and she would have jumped if it had not been so hard to maneuver with that body. She slowly turned to see who was there, sleeping in her bed, although she knew without a doubt that that was Daniel's voice. It was. He was unshaved and did not look like he was wearing much. His face showed deep concern and Sam's confusion grew larger.

"Daniel?"

"Are you all right? Do you have contractions again? How far apart? I'd better get ready."

He was talking fast as usual and, as he did, he got out of bed, opened the window curtains, and started going around the room, clearly getting ready to take a bath while still awaiting for her response.

Sam felt dizzy. She closed her eyes and only said, "I don't feel okay."

"What do you feel?" Daniel asked approaching the bed, still in his underwear. "Do you want me to call Carolyn?"

"Daniel," she started the sentence, but then did not know what to say. "I don't know where we are. I don't remember-" She suddenly felt extremely emotional and her eyes filled with tears.

"You don't remember? What's the last thing you remember?"

Sam made an effort and concentrated. "We were in Lahinia and we had just helped them get rid of the Ori prior, when that madman, Stirn, who though we had defied their gods, attacked me, so, when we got back to the base, Dr. Lam left me in for observation. You promised to stay the night with me and, even though I tried to send you home, the last thing I remember is you sitting by the side of my bed."

Daniel looked even more worried, if possible. He sat on the edge of her bed and carefully held her hand. "Sam, that was more than five years ago. We weren't even married-"

"We're married?" Sam asked with shock.

"I certainly hope so, or we would have two kids out of wedlock and two more about to be," he answered in a cheerful tone.

Sam closed her eyes and rested her head against the headboard.

Daniel sounded worried again when he added, "Sam, we need to call Carolyn. This isn't normal."

He was about to get up to get the phone when Sam squeezed his hand and made him stop. "Wait! Just tell me more. I need to know." She looked into his eyes with so much pain that he could not move.

"I don't know if to tell you is the right thing to do."

"Please!"

"All right," he gave in. He always did for her. "What do you want to know?"

"How old are the children? Boys or girls?"

"We have a four year old boy, Jacob, and a two year old girl, Claire. We wanted to call her Janet, first, but somehow Janet Jackson didn't sound right for a little girl." He smiled and she felt like smiling for the first time since she woke up. "Besides, Cassie wanted to call her daughter Janet."

"Cassie has a daughter?"

"Not yet, but in four months-"

"She's too young!" Sam said with concern.

"Sam, she's twenty-five. She waited until she finished college to get married, as you asked her. Now, she wants a family."

Sam sighed with resignation. Daniel smiled and continued. "We know that we have two more boys here," he softly tapped her big abdomen, "identical twins, because they checked that when they did the amniocentesis. You know, you and I, we're not children anymore, especially me," he added with a big smile.

"Three boys? That must have caused the amnesia," Sam joked trying to hide her anguish.

"Come on, Sam. Let's call."

"Wait! Just a little bit more. What happened to Teal'c? Jack? Cam?"

"Okay, let's see. Cam is married to Carolyn and after all this time, she finally got pregnant. I think you're contagious," he added in a lower tone. "He thinks that he owes it to us, because Carolyn, first, didn't want to ever marry again and, after she finally gave in and married him, she refused to have children. I still think that her first marriage was a nightmare, even though you don't want to talk about it."

"I?"

"Well, you're her best friend. I know she confided in you and I know that you've helped her overcome her fears. The fact that we've been so happy must have encouraged her." He smiled again and she started to feel better. That smile was a rare occurrence for Daniel, at least in her memories, and now it came naturally, every two words. They had to be happy together.

A sharp pain interrupted her thoughts. "Ouch!"

"What?"

"I'm not sure, but I think that was a contraction, and a pretty strong one."

"You see, I knew you'd be in labor today. Everything we read-" He stopped talking and got up. "We'd better get ready. Let's take a shower. Let me help you and then I'll get the kids ready."

He helped her get out of bed and walked slowly with her to the bathroom. All the way Sam felt like she was a whale and thought that if Daniel let go of her hand, she'd fall flat on the floor. Well, not flat.

She entered the unknown bathroom and soon saw the mirror. She approached slowly, dragging Daniel, and looked at herself in it. She was definitely huge. She probably was swollen, too. She could not actually see her feet very well, but what she saw looked swollen. Her hair was long, very long, and was tied with a small lace in her back. "Do I still work at the SGC, Daniel?"

Daniel stood by her side on the mirror. He looked the same as always. "Of course you do. Why do you ask?"

"My hair," she said, untying the lace and holding the ends of her hair.

"Well, generals have more latitude, and since the program became public, the government thought it helped our image. It made you less military."

"The stargate is public?" She turned toward him.

"It's been three years already."

"Wow!" She looked at herself in the mirror again. "General, eh?"

"It helped when you started getting pregnant so often," he joked. "Come on, Sam, let's get ready and go to the hospital."

"You haven't told me about the others. General Hammond?"

"He's a little weak lately. He had trouble getting over that flu last winter, but I think he'll be fine. Landry is in Homeworld Security. Cam, Teal'c and I are still in SG-1, though our jobs are pretty different now… And we have this boss who's driving us crazy-"

"Who?"

"You, silly." He smiled again. Sam showed her surprise and Daniel continued. "Ishta joined Teal'c here a year ago. Finally. It took forever to convince her that she could work for the SGC and that she wasn't betraying her _'sister-warriors'_ as she calls them."

Sam smiled. She had thought they would get together some day.

"Now, we have to convince her that she won't be subjugated if she accepts to marry Teal'c. Bra'tac has retired here, and lives in an apartment on top of Teal'c's garage," Daniel made a dramatic pause and added, "And Jack is really, definitely retired and has been seeing Sara for at least a couple of years. I think he wants to move to Minnesota and she won't, so he stays here to be near her."

Sam was stunned. Too many changes.

Daniel left her against the countertop and opened the door of the shower. He started the water, turned around and got out of his underwear.

Sam turned toward him at that moment and got stunned. "Holly Hannah!" she said and went back to look at the mirror.

"What?" Daniel said almost with panic in his voice.

"You're naked!"

"You'd better be, too, if we're going to take the shower before all the hot water is gone down the drain," he started saying as we walked toward her. Then it dawned on him that she did not remember being married, or him without his clothes, or needing his help to take a simple shower. "I'm sorry," he said grabbing a towel and tying it around his waist. "Do you want to try to do it on your own?"

Right then, Sam felt another stab of pain. She held onto the counter and Daniel rushed toward her. She rested there for a short while as Daniel held her arms from behind. She was not sure she could even walk. She was still dizzy and the nausea was getting worse. She had been through worse things in combat than being naked in front of her best friend and, if he was her husband as everything indicated, she should better get used to it. "No, it's all right. I need your help." She started pulling her nightgown up.

"Are you sure? I can bring a chair. Maybe you can sit… Or we could prepare a bath. It wouldn't take that long-"

"It's all right, Daniel," she said as she shook her head. She could not get the whole gown over her head and Daniel helped her with great care.

"I can have the shower in my underwear," he offered.

Sam smiled. "Just got a full frontal view. Nothing new left."

Daniel blushed and smiled, too, then helped with the rest of her clothing. Finally, he got rid of the towel and they both got under the water.


	4. Chapter 4

**DEEP – II. Deep Inside** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Inside**

**Chapter 2**

The rest of the day went so fast that Sam did not even have time to dwell on her loss of memory. By the time she was sitting in the car, with both the older children safely buckled on their car seats behind her, the contractions were only seven minutes apart. Daniel had said it was still early, but somehow she knew it was not unexpected. Carolyn Lam was waiting for her at the hospital. They could not talk much about her mnemonic problem because by the time she got into the delivery room, she already was eight centimeters dilated. Daniel did not leave her side at any time.

Four hours later, she was finally in a private room. She still was sore and she felt sleepy, but Daniel had promised to come back as soon as he saw the babies again. She had seen them very briefly, before the pediatrician took them away. They were almost four weeks early and they had to receive the correct care. Daniel had assured her they were fine and, as soon as he had ascertained that she was going to be all right, too, he had gone to see them. Cam had been briefly in with Jacob and Claire and then he had taken them to have a hamburger. There was something different about him. He was more… cheerful? Maybe happier? She could not decide, but he had a constant smile that lighted the room, just as bright as Carolyn's.

Several more people came by in the following hours. Nobody stayed too long, but they all wanted to share the happiness. Daniel smiled so much that Sam thought his face muscles would hurt by the end of the day. He had already taken some digital pictures of the babies in the nursery and brought them back to her. They would let her hold them and feed them later. She could not wait.

When visiting hours passed, Daniel climbed on the bed and lay on top of the covers by her side. Sam turned sideways so that they could spoon and Daniel passed his arm over hers. It felt wonderful, like everything was right. Tomorrow they would start working on her memory. Perhaps tomorrow she would remember everything and if she did not, it would not be that bad. She had seen plenty of pictures of this life around the house, as they got ready to go to the hospital. She was sure she would remember, sooner or later. She already had recovered the feelings. She was crazily in love with the four children, and she had only seen them for a little while. And she surely loved Daniel. It scared her how much.

Yeah. Everything would be all right.


	5. Chapter 5

**DEEP – II. Deep Inside** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Inside**

**Chapter 3**

Sam woke up when the sun started lighting the room. It was still very dark and she was tired. She refused to open her eyes completely and she tried to go back to sleep. She felt Daniel's presence behind her and his arm around her waist. Something felt off, but she had felt that way yesterday, too. Maybe it was because she was no longer pregnant. She slowly moved her hand to touch her now flattened abdomen. She missed the lives she had felt there the day before. Her belly felt wonderfully flat; too flat, too soon, she thought for an instant.

Her hand noticed that Daniel's hand was under the covers, too, and she chuckled as she imagined the nurses scolding him for getting in bed with the patient. She slowly turned in his arms and kissed the tip of his nose. "I love you," came out of her lips and she felt happy that it did. Daniel moved slightly and raised his head.

"Well, it's about time you wake up in a better mood," Jack said.

Sam jumped out of the bed and yelled, "Jack!"

"Hey! What were you expecting? Prince Charming? It's not like I'm a frog, either."

Sam looked around and saw that she was not in a hospital room. She was in something like a cabin on the woods. She knew that place. She made an effort and some images came to her mind. Of course, it was Jack's cabin in Minnesota. All SG-1 had been there a long time ago. She was not sure how long ago. She felt sick.

"Sam, come back to bed. We don't have to fight again; let's make up." Jack pleaded.

Sam did not move. She was still trying to understand. She was fully dressed; she even had her boots on. She felt her eyes were swollen and she had a horrible headache. She probably had cried herself to sleep. She recognized the signs. "Jack?" she asked as if asking for help.

"Come on, baby. Sit down and we'll talk, but let's make it the last time we argue over this."

Sam complied and sat facing him.

Jack sat against the headboard. "You knew it from the beginning, Sam. You knew I didn't want to get married again. You even said those girly dreams about big weddings weren't your type. What is it now? Are you thinking about having children again? You knew, Sam, you knew. I'm not going to have any more children," he emphasized. "Even if it means not having sex until your menopause, Sam. I won't risk it if you're thinking about it. Besides, you're way past your prime for children."

Sam eyes filled with tears. She could not understand. What had happened? Had the day before just been a dream? Was she trying to escape the nightmare her life had become? She tried to ask, "Jack?"

"Oh, come on, don't start crying again. Yesterday we couldn't even talk like civilized people. You were a soldier, Sam, a colonel. Get that back!"

Sam closed her eyes, and thought she needed to get out of there. "I need to go to the bathroom," she said getting up. She left Jack's room and walked toward the only bathroom in the cabin. Her head was spinning. She entered the small room, turned on the lights and closed the door. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was even shorter than she remembered ever having worn it. She had no make-up and her eyes were definitely swollen. She also had an ugly blue yellowish hematoma on her forehead.

"Are you okay in there?" Jack asked from the other side of the door.

Sam opened the door and asked, while pointing to the bruise. "What happened to me?"

"You slipped in the shower; you don't remember?"

"No. There are lots of things I don't remember. I need you to tell me."

"Is this a side effect of the fall? Should we have taken you to the hospital yesterday?"

"No, just tell me." She grabbed his hand and walked toward the den. She sat in an armchair and indicated he should sit on the sofa. "How long have we been together?"

He was about to complain when something in her eyes told him to just answer. "Almost five years."

"And we're not married because you didn't want to?"

"Well, you could have said no. I told you my conditions." She encouraged him to go on with a gesture. "No marriage, no children. We both retired and moved here. You left the scientist and the soldier behind."

She was impassible, like a marble statue.

"Look, Sam, everything is great. I don't know where this crisis came from. You never complained before. Was it Daniel's visit?"

She showed she did not understand.

"Daniel was here last week, with her, and their children. I still don't know what he saw in her, but they look happy. And those two little monsters… They're as bright as the Spacemonkey."

"Who is _her_?" Sam wanted to know.

"His wife, Vala," Jack replied in a condescending tone.

Sam cringed.

"Was it that? It made you jealous? I know we hadn't seen him in a long time, but you two still talk on the phone very often. Are you thinking you made the wrong choice? I always thought you secretly loved him. I was stunned when you left everything and came with me, but," he signaled the other room with his head as he smiled smugly, "you have to recognize that we've had great times in that bedroom. I always knew we had good chemistry."

"I don't remember," Sam said dryly.

Jack sighed. "What else do you want to know?"

"What about all the others?"

"Well, I don't know much about anyone, except what Daniel told me last week. I really cut all links. You probably will know better when you remember. I'm sure Daniel passes you a weekly report."

"What did he say?"

"He was worried about Mitchell. He has definitely broken up with Hank's daughter. I knew it would end up that way when she said no to his proposal-"

"She's not my best friend?"

"Okay, now I'm seriously worried. Maybe we should have gone to the doctor."

That was enough answer for Sam. "What about Teal'c?"

"Don't know much. Last I heard, he was in Chulak."

"What do we usually do around here? How does one of our days go?"

"Well," Jack said, "now that we have this nice weather and it's at least thirty-five degrees, we have long walks in the woods, we fish, if the lake isn't frozen… We can even watch hockey now that we have this satellite-thingy hanging from the roof. We don't need anything. We have plenty of beer and the freezer full of pizzas. I don't know what you can complain about. We're happy here," he smiled.

Sam tried to assess what part of her had agreed to this deal. She probably had knocked it out with her fall. Almost certainly tomorrow she would go back to being happy with this simple life. Jack would not lie to her. They had to be happy, or she had hidden her unhappiness from him all this time.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked again.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I still have a horrible headache. I'd better go and sleep for a while, until I feel a little bit better."

"Okay."

She went back to the bedroom and opened a drawer of the dresser. Her underwear was there. Her nightgowns and pajamas were in the next. Yep, she clearly lived there. She changed into something comfortable and got into bed. How many times had she fantasized about being with Jack? Had she not imagined hundreds of times how it would be to be with him? She had gotten her wish. She had to relearn to be happy with it. Maybe tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**DEEP – II. Deep Inside** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Inside**

**Chapter 4**

Sam woke up with a pounding head. She opened her eyes and realized she was back at the Infirmary. She turned around and saw Carolyn in the hallway, outside the door of her room. "Carolyn?" she called. The young doctor noticed she was awake and walked toward her bed. "How are you feeling, Colonel?"

Sam felt confused again. What life was this? Was she married to Teal'c? In any case, she had to answer. "Call me Sam, please," she said with a smile. "I have a terrible headache," she admitted.

"It's normal, after what that guy did to your head." Dr. Lam smiled and whispered the next sentence. "I had to call my dad to make Dr. Jackson leave the room. He has a briefing in two hours and he hadn't slept a minute. At least, now he'll have time to have a shower to keep himself awake."

Sam smiled.

"What year is this? The doctor asked as she routinely did to patients with concussion.

"2006," Sam answered with certainty.

Carolyn finished her examination and left her alone for a while. She returned later and said, "All the tests are normal, Sam. If you want to attend the briefing, you may go."

Sam felt very happy. She started getting up and before the doctor left the room, she called her. "Carolyn, would you like to go have lunch with me tomorrow? I know a great place around here."

Carolyn hesitated for a second and then accepted with a smile.

Sam went straight to the showers. She got ready for the briefing in her lab and almost run to the briefing room. On her way she passed Vala, who had a group of young airmen drooling around her. Daniel was already in the room, with papers spread over the table. Sam walked toward him and stood closely behind him. "Hi, Daniel."

"Hi, Sam," he said distractedly. Then he realized she had been discharged from the Infirmary and turned to see her. She was standing so close to him that he almost bumped into her. "I'm glad they let you out," he said still troubled by her proximity. They usually invaded their personal spaces without thinking, but this was a little too much, especially since he had just had a talk with Jack that had made him realize quite a few things about Sam.

"They told me they had to order you out of my room," she said with a big smile.

"Yeah," he started, but stopped, as she got even closer. He could not even look at her because she was so near. He closed his eyes to re-focus and Sam took that second to put one hand on the nape of his neck and kiss him. He was stunned, but, after a few seconds, he let go of all the years of propriety and allowed his feelings to come out. He held her by the waist and kissed her back as passionately as she was kissing him.

Somebody whistled and they ignored him. They finally separated, but Daniel kept Sam's face close to him. He softly kissed her again and then let her move backward.

"What do you think about marriage?" Sam said suddenly, looking into his eyes and smiling.

"Yeah," Daniel answered without hesitation, but still shocked.

"But you have to promise one thing."

"Anything."

"At least four children, soon."

He chuckled and nodded. "It's a promise."

"Anything I should know?" Landry asked with a smile as he entered the room.

"Actually," Daniel replied turning to look at him and at all his team that was already in the room, "considering that I'm a civilian and that Mitchell is in charge of SG-1," he smiled, "no, nothing you _should_ know, sir, but if you _want_ to know, Sam and I are going to get married and have four children, soon." Cam cheered from his seat, which he had taken while they were kissing. Teal'c bowed his head with a smile of approval. Vala just rolled her eyes.

"And how long has this _'relationship'_ been going on?" Landry asked in a friendly tone.

"Less than five minutes, sir," Sam answered with a smile.

"That much, eh? And you're sure this is the right thing to do?"

"Yes," Daniel and Sam answered at the same time.

"I see. Well, we'll figure out a way to keep you both in SG-1. I'm sure Colonel Mitchell wouldn't be happy if I take either of you off his recently recovered team. At least, until the first of the four children decides to show up."


	7. Chapter 7

**DEEP – II. Deep Inside** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deep Inside**

**Chapter 5**

After the briefing was finished, Sam and Daniel walked together toward his office. Several people congratulated them on their way and Daniel thought he should better call Jack before someone else did. After all, if it were not for what Jack had told him a week earlier, he would not even have known how to react to Sam's proposal. Jack had encouraged him to explore his feelings for Sam and, by the time Sam had kissed him, he had already been thinking of ways to approach the subject of his feelings with her. She had made him face his doubts sooner than he had expected, but he was not about to complain.

He looked at Sam and noticed that she seemed worried. She was quiet and pensive. As soon as they entered his office, he closed the door behind them. Sam turned to face him and he noticed that she was trying not to cry.

"Oh, Daniel, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me! I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that."

Daniel interrupted her. "Are you sorry that you did it so publicly or are you sorry that you did it at all?" He asked seriously.

She looked him straight in the eyes and replied. "I'm not sorry that I did it; just the way I did it. It's just that I suddenly realized how much we have in common, how much we already share, and I was so afraid that if I didn't tell you I would lose you-"

Daniel approached her and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry I wasn't the one to tell you. I've been thinking about the possibility for a while, but I didn't want to pressure you. I love you, Sam."

Sam let her tears finally come out and leaned her head on Daniel's shoulder. "I had a dream last night. In it, I tried to tell you that I loved you, but it was too late. We both had chosen different paths. Now, I can say it." She lifted her head and looked at him, "I love you, too, Daniel."

Daniel kissed her again and she stopped feeling the pain she had had since she woke up in the cabin and she went back to feeling the same happiness she felt before going to sleep in the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

**DEEP – III. Deeper** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life, but she does not count on Vala.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deeper**

**Chapter 1**

Daniel could not decide if the mission had gone right or wrong. They had taken one more step toward finding a weapon to use against the Ori, but they were still not there. Besides, too many things had happened during the mission that he could not explain yet and it worried him deeply. He was only a day away from his wedding to Sam and he did not want to have anything ruin the moment.

He walked toward the Infirmary followed closely by Teal'c. His teammate knew what had happened right before they had come back through the stargate and Daniel had seen the worry in his eyes.

"Are you certain you are feeling all right, DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked again and Daniel knew it was time to worry more. He turned around in the middle of the hallway and faced his friend.

"You've seen this before or heard about it, haven't you?"

"Indeed."

"So, why don't you explain it to me? What the heck was that?"

"I believe we should check up on your health before drawing conclusions which could be erroneous."

"Such as?"

"I would not allow myself to burden you with unproven theories a day before your wedding to Colonel Carter."

Daniel paled noticeably. "Do you think what happened there could have bad consequences, that we could have to postpone the wedding?" he asked in a rush.

"I expect not."

"That doesn't help me much, does it?" he stopped when the corridor walls around him started swirling. He looked at Teal'c, who was already extending his arm to catch him, and he passed out.


	9. Chapter 9

**DEEP – III. Deeper** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life, but she does not count on Vala.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deeper**

**Chapter 2**

"Is she here, too?" General Landry asked his daughter as he followed her into the Infirmary.

"No," Dr. Lam answered. "She was about to go into the locker room when she lost consciousness. They're bringing her now."

"I bet Colonel Carter won't be happy," Landry said as he approached Daniel's bed. "He looks asleep."

"It's the same thing as before. He's completely unresponsive. We believe he'll become alert as she gets near him again."

"I'd probably worry more about what _he_ will want to do to her when he finds out."

"He won't be happy, that's for certain," Carolyn replied.

Right then Sam came running through the door. "What happened?"

"We're not a hundred per cent positive, but it seems that the effect of the KorMac bracelets has been reactivated," Dr. Lam explained.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"It looks like the planet that SG-1 visited recently used to be one of Cronus' prisons. The DHD was equipped with a device that reactivated the bracelets when the prisoners left the planet to be transported somewhere else."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, the information about the planet came from Dr. Jackson. He read the inscriptions in the ruins of what seemed to be an abandoned prison itself. Teal'c just related that to me," General Landry explained. "The rest is conjecture. There was a flash of light when Dr. Jackson crossed and then he lost consciousness after he arrived here. Teal'c had heard of such occurrence before."

"What are we going to do?"

"Well, Vala is unconscious, too. She's being brought up here as we speak. That would help them both for the time being. I believe the effect will wear off on its own, just as the last time," Dr. Lam said.

"But we're getting married tomorrow. What are we going to do with her around us?"

"I'd say either you postpone the wedding or you make arrangements to stay in close proximity to Vala during your honeymoon, if you don't want to become a widow at this early age, Carter," Jack interrupted as he entered the Infirmary.

"General!" Sam exclaimed and turned around and hugged him.

Jack hugged her back. "Don't worry, Carter, he'll be okay. He always pulls out of things like this."

Sam moved back and smiled. She knew it was not that bad. She was just upset.

Shortly after Vala was brought into the Infirmary, Daniel woke up. When the situation was explained to him, he felt extremely aggravated. Missing a chance to go to Atlantis was bad, but ruining Sam's wedding day was even worse, because it involved not only him, but also the person he cared the most about, and there was nothing he could do.

Right after Sam's proposal, they both had taken a short leave to plan the wedding. Daniel did not really care about how it was done, but he wanted to give Sam what she had always imagined her wedding would be. They soon enlisted George Hammond to give Sam away at the altar and Jack and Teal'c shared the honor of the best man. Sam had thought for years that, if she ever married, Janet would be her maid of honor, but after her death, she had completely avoided the subject in her mind. With such a sudden decision to make, she immediately thought of Cassie. She called to ask her and offered her a ticket to spend a long weekend in Colorado Springs with them. Cassie was delighted.

The rest was easy. Sam did not want an elaborate wedding, but something simple. Her brother was not going to be to able to come because his wife was pregnant and very near the due date, and he was afraid of leaving her alone with their other two children. As soon as Sam found this out, she asked permission to have a wedding at the base, in the gateroom that had been such an important part of the life they had shared for almost ten years.

For a while in the afternoon, after Vala regained consciousness, too, they experimented how far Daniel could go from her without feeling any symptoms. They had tried that the last time, but the circumstances had changed and Daniel thought that perhaps the effect of the bracelets had, too. He soon was proved wrong. The furthest away he could be from her without starting feeling dizziness was about ten to fifteen meters. He would be lucky if he could still keep her in a private quarter across the hallway from his while staying at the base. They finally decided that she would have to play the part of a bridesmaid during the wedding to be able to be near Daniel without making it more obvious.

What worried him the most was that Sam had been already showing symptoms of jealousy toward Vala. The new situation was only bound to worsen the problem.

Vala had not changed her behavior after Daniel had become an engaged man. Hugging him from behind and leaning her head on his back was her favorite morning ritual. Daniel had shown his exasperation, but Vala seemed immune. She would hug him and keep him near her body as much as possible. She would ruffle his hair and hang from his neck in every occasion possible. Daniel was used to it, but Sam was not. In a couple of occasions she had interrupted her talk with Daniel until Vala had finally left the room. Once she had left the cafeteria table as soon as Vala sat by Daniel's side.

Now that Daniel and Vala were bonded again, he decided that it was necessary to have a talk with her. He called Vala to his office and explained to her that in Earth an engagement meant a pact of exclusivity, a decision to share two lives with each other and nobody else. He also explained that, because of that, many physical displays that had already been out of place before, were now unacceptable. Vala uncharacteristically promised to behave, but as soon as Sam was in sight that evening, she went back to her old behavior. Daniel sighed and decided that Sam would have to be the one staking her territory and that if she did not take any action, he would not either.

Though he could see that Vala's behavior annoyed Sam, he did not see that Sam was reacting to it in any other manner. He started to think that perhaps Sam had changed her mind about their compatibility, but was afraid to tell him. Besides, they had the problem of intimacy. It was not actually a problem, but Daniel thought it was starting to become one. After their sudden decision to get married, Daniel and Sam had gone to her house to have dinner and start planning their life together. It had been a little awkward at the beginning and they had joked much about how blind they had been about each other to lighten the mood. They had soon fallen into their usual friendship mode and when late that night Daniel had said he was going back home, Sam had not shown any signs of disagreement.

A month had passed and nothing had changed. Besides the usual kiss when they met in the mornings and their good night kiss, they had not gone anywhere beyond. Daniel assumed Sam wanted to keep it that way until their wedding and had patiently acquiesced to her unspoken desires, but he thought that some kind of more intimate contact was necessary. It was not that he was dying to make love to her –well, he did want to do it, but he could wait– but that he was afraid that it might not work out between them. For too many years they had kept each other at a distance –not exactly physical, but within a mental boundary– and now they were not getting any closer. What would happen if the chemistry between them was not enough? The kisses had been fine, but that was not sufficient to predict a whole life together. He knew that sex was not going to be the pillar on which to sustain their marriage, but he did not think it was meaningless either.

Now, he was a few hours away from his wedding in the morning and, instead of holding Sam in his arms, he had Vala clinging to him, holding him by the waist with both hands.

"Vala, please, leave me alone. I have to finish a lot of things before the wedding."

"I know, dear, but I'm afraid the effect of the bracelets is too fresh and if I go too far away from you, we may be doomed."

He sighed deeply and unhooked her hands from his waist. "It won't kill you if you sit right in front of me while I work at my desk," he said as he directed her to a chair.

He sat back behind his desk and tried to finish his report about the fateful mission that had brought Vala back so close to him. He was still typing when Sam came into the office. It was rather late and he was surprised to see she was still there. They had not said good-bye for the night yet, but he thought she had been too busy to come see him before leaving the base.

"Hey, Sam. I thought you were already gone," he said as he stood up to get close to her.

"No. I decided I could spend the night here at the base with you," she said.

Daniel wondered if she meant really with him or simply at her base quarters. He did not want to ask in front of Vala, so he simply said, "Great!" and started fixing his papers to be able to leave the office. He then followed Sam to the right floor and guided Vala to her room across his. "Good night, Vala," he said as he opened the door to her room and directed her to go in.

Vala was about to say something, but one look at Sam told her it was not the right time. She smiled and went in. Daniel closed the door behind her. He then turned to Sam and waited for her to take the initiative.

"Would you like me to stay with you?" she finally said after what seemed eternal silence to Daniel.

"If that's what you want," he answered.

"I asked you," she said sounding upset.

Daniel noticed the slightly belligerent tone and worried. "Sam, let's go inside and talk. This hallway isn't the right place for this." He opened the door to his quarters and waited for Sam to go in. He then followed her and closed the door. He put his hands on Sam's shoulders and looked at her directly in the eyes. "Sam, we've waited all this time to get here; tomorrow is the wedding. I can wait more if you want me to do it. I don't want to rush you and ruin whatever you have imagined for tomorrow."

Sam looked down and nodded. She shyly kissed him goodnight and opened the door. As she did, she noticed that Vala's door was slightly open, too. She turned around and closed the door again. "No, I want to stay," she said and walked toward Daniel and kissed him more passionately that she had ever done it before.

Daniel had not failed to see Vala's door and immediately guessed what was driving Sam. He softly pulled apart from Sam and said, "Sam, would you mind sitting here with me for a minute?" He walked toward the bed and sat at the edge. He extended his hand to reach Sam's. She walked slowly to him and sat by his side.

"What?" she said softly.

"Sam, I've noticed how much Vala annoys you, especially lately. I don't want you to stay here tonight and have sex with me just because you're afraid that she'll get in here as soon as you leave. You have to trust me."

"You married her in my dream."

Daniel was surprised. He remembered that Sam had talked about having a dream the day she proposed, but he had understood that the dream was about the two of them. Then, he recalled her saying that she had tried to tell him she loved him, but it had been too late. "Why don't you tell me about the dream? We've never talked about it and it's what started all this," he said with a smile.

Sam briefly related to him the first part of her dream and Daniel asked, "But it was not late for us in your dream. I married you and we were happy."

"That was only the first part of the dream," Sam replied and told him about the rest.

"Ah, that's different," Daniel said.

"I woke up so sad, Daniel. I couldn't bear it. It was not as much how unhappy I had felt with Jack, it was also how jealous it had made me to know that you were with her and you were happy."

"It was just a dream."

"I know, but you're the kind of man who could make any woman happy." Daniel smirked and Sam patted his arm. "I'm serious, Daniel, you're a sensitive guy, you care about what other people feel, you can empathize… Those are rare qualities in men, I can tell you that for certain. Besides, you're bright and handsome. What else could any woman ask?"

"Thank you, Sam, but that doesn't mean that _I'_d be happy if I married her," he said signaling toward the hallway with his head.

"She has many good qualities in spite of it all and I'm sure you see them better than anybody else. You can see the best side of anyone, Daniel."

"I'm marrying you, not her. I'm in love with you."

"What if I'm not as good as she is?"

"As good with what? You're far brighter and-" Daniel started saying and then it dawned on him. "Sam, I've never been with her."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Not even when I was in Nevada?"

"No."

"I feel pretty silly."

"Don't. There's nothing silly about talking about what bothers you. It's better that we do it now and that we start our life together without nothing interfering."

"I'm sorry, Daniel. She just makes me so jealous! I've even thought of calling off the wedding and setting you free to be with her."

"Sam, I don't want to be with her."

Sam turned to him and hugged him. Daniel noticed that she was crying. He was stunned that a bright woman as Sam could be so insecure. He blamed himself. He had let her take all the initiatives; he had blindly followed her lead without ever asserting his own wishes. No wonder Sam thought he did not care.

"Listen to me, Sam. Come here." He untied her boots and helped her take her jacket off. He then did the same with his and lay on top of the bed. He pulled her by his side and let her lean her head on his chest. Then he pulled a cover on top of them and said, "I want you to stay with me here tonight, just like this, and to talk with me until we fall asleep. I want to share with you my expectations for the future and I want you to tell me about yours. You and I, we've talked about everything always, but this is different. This is more intimate; this is very personal. I haven't shared my life this way with anyone since I lost Sha're and I think that, if we survive this war we're fighting, we have even better chances at happiness. I think that the love between us is not one of those searing infatuations that lead many couples to marriage. We have a very solid foundation of trust and understanding that most people don't have when they get to this point in their lives. Cameron told me yesterday that we act as if we had been married for years now and it made me think that it's probably true, but we still have one more thing to discover between us and we'll get there tomorrow after we leave our friends behind."

Sam had been captivated by Daniel's words until his last sentence brought up all her hard feelings toward Vala. "We won't be able to leave her behind," she said bitterly.

Daniel had felt how she had been relaxing slowly and suddenly he felt the tension come back up. "I think the best we can do is reschedule our honeymoon trip. You're right about that." He noticed Sam was getting even more upset and tried to make her think it through. "That trip is something we deserve to do without anything interfering in our happiness. We can do it anytime we want. I'm sure Jack will help us. We just have to let the effect of the bracelets wear off and then we'll be on our own."

"She just had to ruin this, too!" Sam whispered with anger.

"She didn't do this. For sure it's a consequence of what she did before, but she didn't plan on hurting our honeymoon."

"Are you sure? Why do you always have to take her side?" Sam sat up in bed and grabbed her head.

Daniel sat up, too, and held her. "You know, if we had sex now, we'd probably solve all our differences in one night, but I'm not going to do it, not like this, just to calm your fears. I'm going to lie back down and wait for you to lie by my side and talk to me about us. I don't want to hear anything else about Vala, because this night, as every other night in the future, is for you and me and _I_ won't let _anyone_ meddle with that. I hope you won't either. I love _you_; I'm _marrying_ you and I want to have a life _with you_. If that's what you want too, you have to forget about her and anyone else and come back to me. It's your decision now."

He leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. He was terrified that Sam could not deal with her jealousy and would get up and leave. For a few seconds he waited patiently, holding his breath. Then suddenly he felt Sam moving and soon she was by his side again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay."

"I think you're right. We should reschedule the honeymoon for later. We can ask Landry permission to stay here in base for as long as it takes for the KorMac effect to wear off. That way we won't have memories of having to share our house with-" she stopped afraid of crossing the boundary Daniel had just imposed.

"I'll do it first thing in the morning. I'll also ask for a few personal days and stay in our quarters until people have forgotten about the honeymoon. We'll have to endure lots of teasing if we walk around the base after tomorrow."

"I'm sure Teal'c would help us," Sam said with a little laugh, "bring us some food, keep us informed…"

"Yep, that sounds like a plan," Daniel kissed Sam's forehead and they started planning their in-base honeymoon. He was relieved that Sam had finally understood that nobody was more important to him than her and that she was willing to build a future with him. He was definitely a lucky man.

Sam, on the other hand, could not keep herself from feeling some kind of perverse satisfaction that, while she would be enjoying her honeymoon with Daniel, Vala would be trapped in her room across the hall. That had to be some sort of poetic justice. Her final thoughts, before finally falling asleep, were that she did not need dreaming anymore, because she had everything she wanted right by her side. She could feel already how her relationship with Daniel was becoming deeper and more meaningful that any other she had had in her life. She had definitely been blessed.


	10. Chapter 10

**DEEP – III. Deeper** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life, but she does not count on Vala.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deeper**

**Chapter 3**

The wedding ceremony went fine. Sam was so happy that she even forgot that Vala was standing by Cassie's side as her bridesmaid. Cameron, who had known Sam for many years, had no problem understanding that the impulsive alien was a source of trouble for his friend, so he committed himself to keeping Vala as far away as possible from Daniel. It was not really far, but he kept her busy, talking, dancing, eating, whatever was useful for distracting her and keeping her from making a scene that could ruin Sam's wedding. Daniel was the first to notice his efforts and silently acknowledged them with a gesture of gratitude.

Sam spent the night looking at Daniel. She had looked at him millions of times along the years, but that night she started seeing him in a different way. She could not pinpoint the exact moment when the change had begun, but she was conscious of the difference. Though she had known she wanted to share the rest of her life with him since the moment she woke up from the strange dreams –which had set the marriage in motion– she had not let it affect her too deeply. She had enjoyed the kissing and the closeness that the marriage plans had brought, but it had not interfered with her daily life. She was going to marry Daniel and they were going to have a nice family. Done.

The day of the wedding, as she was dancing with him, it all became a sudden reality. She had married her best friend mostly because her mind had found a way to show her it was the right thing to do. She trusted her mind above anything else and she had not stopped to question it. More surprisingly, she had asked Daniel and he had said yes. Later, he had explained how his conversation with Jack had gradually pushed him to realize how deep his feelings for her were and how her question had simply put into words what he thought he would never have the right to ask from her. Of course he had said yes. He really meant it.

She looked at him. It was hard to see his expression because the dancing area was darker than the rest of the room. She felt the irresistible desire to raise her hand and caress his face. She raised her right hand and softly caressed Daniel's cheek. He leaned imperceptibly into her touch and sighed as he closed his eyes. Sam's whole body reacted to his sigh as it had been shaken by an invisible force. She used her fingertips to follow the contour of Daniel's mouth and he slightly opened his lips still without looking at her. As she kept caressing his face, he breathed deeply and finally opened his eyes. He leaned toward her and kissed her very gently, but for Sam it felt as if it had been the first time they had ever kissed.

It was almost overwhelming. In a short while she was going to start the rest of her life with this man and she had not even allowed herself to think about what was coming next. They had barely kissed on the lips during the last month; she had not felt any special reaction to it; after all, it was Daniel. They had always kissed –in a friendly way– and they had hugged so many times she had lost count. Comfort hugs were not on the menu tonight. This was going to be different and she had to be ready.

She closed her eyes and got closer to Daniel in the typical way she had when she needed comfort from him. He tightened the embrace and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Daniel's qualms about their wedding night slightly diminished as she reached for closeness. He allowed himself for the first time in his life to feel how her body molded perfectly against his as they danced. This time it was all right to play with the possibilities, too. He slowly moved his hand to take advantage of the low-cut back of the wedding dress and enjoy the feel of her skin under his fingers.

Sam felt a wave of pleasure run through her body. His hand was barely moving and, yet, it was commanding reactions all over her.

Daniel lowered his head to whisper in her ears. "Are you ready to leave?"

Sam nodded without a word and Daniel took her by the hand toward the exit door. They were about to leave the party without being noticed, when dizziness reminded him than he would probably faint if he went too far from Vala. He sighed deeply to keep calm and not ruin the moment he was having with Sam. He searched the room with his eyes and saw Vala dancing with a young airman not too far from them. Close by was Cameron, observing them.

Daniel and Sam approached him and asked his help to convince Vala to leave the party as well. Cameron explained that he had arranged with Teal'c to collect a sample of the party food and beverages and accompany Vala to her room. They were going to keep entertaining the new member of the team for a while longer in order to distract her from what was happening on the other side of the hallway from her room. Cam was sure it would not work well if Vala decided to drop by Daniel's room because she was feeling lonely or bored, something she had done many times before.

Cam raised his hand and Teal'c appeared as if from nowhere. "Are we ready to leave?"

"Yep," Cam replied.

Teal'c made a sign and a waiter approached them with a covered tray. Sam and Daniel smiled. Cam talked to Vala and they soon joined the small group.

Daniel thanked them and left with Sam, walking just a few meters ahead of them.


	11. Chapter 11

**DEEP – III. Deeper** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life, but she does not count on Vala.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deeper**

**Chapter 4**

A few minutes later, in the silence of the sound-proofed private quarters, Sam and Daniel were finally going to start their married life. Sam got into the room and walked to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. She was full of doubts again.

Daniel walked from behind, put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. Sam closed her eyes.

"Do you need help with this dress?" He asked.

Sam sighed and replied, "Sure."

Daniel carefully undid the short row of buttons in her lower back and then slid the shoulders of the dress down her arms.

Sam finished getting out of the dress and looked at herself in the mirror again. Her full length slip accentuated the curves of her body. She hoped she looked all right.

Daniel observed her quietly.

She finally turned to look at him and with a shy smile she said, "Hi."

"Are you all right?" Daniel asked, starting to get worried again.

"Yes," she said as she hugged him. "I just feel a little overwhelmed tonight; that's all."

Daniel raised his hand and softly caressed her back in a calming gesture. "We don't have to do anything else tonight, Sam. We can go lie down for a while; I'm sure we'll fall asleep soon," he lied, trying to find a way to calm her fears. "You have to be tired. It's been a long day."

He moved slightly as to indicate the path to the bedroom, but Sam stopped him. "No, stay her for a minute." She hugged him tighter and laid her head on his shoulders.

Daniel stayed immobile, holding her silently.

"Don't you think I'm too old for having children? I mean, _even_ one, let alone four," she suddenly said in a low voice.

Daniel was very surprised by the question, but reacted immediately. "No, I don't think you're old, Sam, and I also think that these days there are many more chances of having children at any age than ever before, especially considering where we work. I'll do whatever we need to do, if that's what you want." He paused. "Do you really want to have children, Sam?"

She nodded emphatically against his chest. "And you?"

"Yes, I do," he said reassuringly.

She sighed with relief.

Daniel realized Sam was having doubts, but he was not sure why. He decided to try another approach. "Have I told you that you look startling tonight? I mean, you're always beautiful, but-"

She broke the embrace and turned to the mirror. "Look at the mirror, Daniel. You see that beautiful man by my side? He was the talk of the party tonight."

Okay… That was not what he expected. "I didn't hear anyone talk about me, but many men reminded me of how lucky I was that you had-"

"I did," Sam interrupted him again. "I've been listening to women talk about you even since before I met you. Yesterday, in the locker room I overheard a nurse wondering why you had accepted to marry me when you could have chosen anyone you wanted," she said. "She even said that _I_ had to ask you before _Vala_ did, because I had no chances against her."

Daniel was stunned. He did not think that he had ever heard of Sam taking comments form the locker room so seriously, but those were particularly hurtful comments and he could see how they could have affected her.

"If I had to do it all over again, I would always choose you, Sam." He got close to her and hugged her from behind as he had before. "I've heard countless men talk about your amazing qualities. From that incredible brain of yours to your fine skills in battle; from your extraordinary fitness to your remarkable beauty. I don't need to exaggerate it for you; you must know many women are jealous of you, just because of what you have accomplished in your life, especially in your careers, as a military and as a scientist-"

"Daniel-"

"No, it's my turn. Now, you're paying attention to the one area of your life that you had left aside until this moment, your love life, your family life. There has to be someone out there who resents that you're finally going to have it all, but you deserve it. Don't apologize for it; don't listen to what they say. You've given enough to this program, to this planet, to this whole galaxy… It's time for doing what you need for yourself. I'm just glad that you chose me to be a part of it." He paused and she tried to say something, but he continued without allowing her a word. "And… and I have to confess that sometimes I felt like knocking out a few of those men who talked about you, just because they made me awfully jealous, even before I realized what my feelings for you were." He let out a little guilty laugh.

Sam smiled, thankful that she had married such a sensitive man. She would not have to worry about self-esteem with him. "Thank you, Daniel."

"No need to thank for the truth," he said, smiling, too.

Sam felt more relaxed. She snuggled against Daniel and closed her eyes.

"I would very much like to make love to you now, Sam," he whispered in her ear.

The sudden change in subject somehow startled Sam, but her body responded by shivering in anticipation.

She turned in his arms and said, "You know, Daniel, I need to tell you something and I hope it doesn't ruin the mood… If you were any other man −I don't have many examples to compare, but− I would have taken the initiative; I'm usually far more aggressive at this-"

"That's fine, Sam. That doesn't bother me."

"No, that's not it. It's that with you I feel this desire to let go. To put myself in your hands and let you lead."

He smiled. "I'm fine with that, too, Sam." He picked her up in his arms and started walking to the bedroom. "We can change leads whenever you want, but let me get this started." He kissed her softly and turned off the lights.


	12. Chapter 12

**DEEP – III. Deeper** by Betty Bokor  
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a serious talk with Jack. Sam gets in trouble and decides to change the odds in her life, but she does not count on Vala.  
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.  
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

**Deeper**

**Chapter 5**

The next morning Sam woke up feeling a little cold. She suddenly got the idea that maybe Daniel had gone to see Vala. She probably was not happy and Daniel must have felt the need to comfort her. She sat up in bed, still half-sleep, and realized Daniel was not there. Her fears increased.

"Good morning," Daniel said cheerily from the armchair next to the bed.

Sam looked at him and realized he had not gone anywhere. "What are you doing?"

"Just looking at you," he smiled. "I was going to get a shower and look for our breakfast, but I couldn't stop looking at you, so peaceful… I've always had to look the other way when I woke up by your side during a mission, but today…" He shrugged his shoulders.

Sam threw a pillow at him. She laughed. "Stop it. I'm going to start believing all that. Go get your shower. I'll find the breakfast."

Daniel smiled broadly and walked to the bathroom.

As soon as he closed the door behind him, Sam got up and put on a robe. She looked at the clock on Daniel's nightstand. It was almost ten in the morning. Teal'c had promised to leave them breakfast in the corridor, by their door. She was about to get it, when she remembered her first thought of the morning. Why was she still thinking of Vala? Why was she so irrationally jealous of her? The night she had just spent with _her_ husband should have been enough proof of how much he loved her, but still, there she was, thinking of Vala.

She sighed and opened the door. There was a rolling cart with covered dishes parked right by their room. She was about to grab the handle when Vala's door opened and she peeked out.

Sam looked at her and, without thinking, said, "Daniel's taking a shower." A second later she chastised herself for assuming Vala was looking for him, but it was too late.

"Good. I wanted to talk with you for a minute. We haven't had much chance before. Do you mind coming in for a second?"

Sam looked at herself, disheveled and wearing a robe, but decided to be done with it. "Okay," she replied, closed the door, and followed Vala inside the room.

Vala sat at the edge of her bed and invited Sam to sit by her side. She looked uncomfortable, but she was trying to smile.

"Well, first, I wanted to say _congratulations on you marriage_. You got the best man."

"Thanks," Sam said softly.

"Second," she smiled nervously. "I wanted to give you a little present." She stretched her hand and reached inside her nightstand drawer. "It's just a pair of leather bracelets. I braided them myself."

Sam looked surprised at the small package she had been handed and opened it. Inside there was a pair of very thin bracelets made of pale leather. "Thank you," she said again.

"I learned to do that when I was a child. We used to all wear them… My mother didn't teach me that; she wasn't good at that… either," she added in a sarcastic tone. Then she smiled openly. "I'd like Daniel and you to wear them, if you don't mind."

"Why?" Sam asked without thinking.

"To erase the memory of the _other_ bracelets… And to remind us. To remind _me_ that he now belongs to you. To remind _him_ that he's free from me −even if he has to keep close for another little while− and to remind _you _that he _is_ yours and that you need not be jealous of me again." She looked at Sam's eyes. "I don't have him; I never did."

Sam was about to say something, but Vala stopped her.

"Wait, listen. I'm not done." She smiled nervously. "I wanted him to be mine, I confess it," she said softly. "I know how much I've annoyed him, how far I've pushed his patience, but, in spite of it all, he's the only one who's ever reached out to me. He's done everything he could to make my life here more comfortable. He's introduced me to people and taken me around to know this place. He even took me shopping for clothes −he's not very good at finding women's stores, I can tell you− but he tried his best," she added almost laughing, "and in return I made his life miserable. Probably yours, too. I'm very sorry for that." Her tone had changed; she was very serious now.

Sam could see that she was sincere and touched her arm in a gesture of understanding.

"I don't know how to deal with someone like Daniel," Vala continued. "I haven't met many people like him before. Actually, I've never met anyone like him. I know he's not a saint and that he has many faults, but he's different. I really wanted him to see me, to love me, to stay with me." Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly raised her hands to her face to clean them. "I'm sorry; I'm sorry." She lowered her hands and smiled.

Sam did not know what to do. She kept quiet and let Vala compose herself.

"I just had to say it," Vala finally said. "It's the true, but I'll be fine." She sighed. "It's just that I couldn't make Daniel understand that my feelings were real. I didn't know how. He thought that I was joking, that I was playing with him; even that I was mocking him… He's learned to trust me in so many ways, even with his life, but not about this… Well, that's over anyway." She had changed her tone again. "Now I want him to be happy and nobody better than you for that."

"You don't really know me," Sam said very softly. "_I_ don't even know if I'll make him happy."

"Oh, you will, trust me. You already have. He chose you; that's all I need to know. I wished he'd have once looked at me the way he looks at you, like he's getting a glimpse into Paradise. Besides, he's always talking about you, _Sam this_, or _Sam that_, or _Sam even that_, you know. You would have always done it better, faster, more-"

Sam smiled.

"I thought we needed to clear the air. I'm sorry that you're stuck in this hole because of me."

"It's not really your fault, not this time," Sam said.

"Well, it feels like it, and to be trapped across the hallway from you is my punishment."

Sam felt remorse for how happy that same thought had made her feel. "We'll be fine. We'll make our trip on another date. That's all."

"I'll stay here all day. Tell Daniel he doesn't have to worry; I won't move. Muscles and Cam promised to come visit. Teal'c already left me breakfast this morning. Yours must be getting cold."

Sam stood. "Thank you, again."

"Go, go," Vala said in a cheerful tone as she almost pushed her out the door. "He must be wondering what happened to you."

When Sam opened the door of Daniel's quarters, he was standing by the table in the lounge area. He was wearing a blue robe and somehow it reminded her of the day when they found him on Vis Uban.

She walked fast toward him and closed her arms around his neck.

"Where were you?" Daniel asked with curiosity.

"I went to get our breakfast. Oh! I forgot." She left him and went running to get the tray from outside.

Daniel looked at her amused.

She came back in and said, "We just got a little wedding present and I got distracted." She took the small bracelets out of the pocket of her robe and put one on Daniel's wrist.

He helped her put the other one on her own wrist and they sat to have breakfast.

"I think I'll take Vala shopping this week," Sam suddenly said. "You'll have to come with us, but that's better than sitting all day long in this room, right?"

Sam's cheery mood as she talked about Vala surprised Daniel. He then looked at the bracelets and all of a sudden understood their meaning. It looked like the two women closest to him had had a talk. Good. He felt better already; he was very relieved. "I wouldn't mind staying here forever as long as you're with me," he replied with a smile, "but, on the other hand, some fresh air could revitalize the passion," he joked as he slid his fingers down Sam's arm until he reached her hand. He squeezed it affectionately.

Sam laughed. "Like you need to revitalize anything." She stretched to kiss him from her chair, but it was too far, so she got up and sat on his legs.

"I'm not really that hungry; we could try this later," he whispered.

She kissed the tip of his nose and took his glasses off. "I need to take my shower, first, but if you're interested in helping me with that…" she proposed.

Daniel smiled. They stood and walked to the bathroom hand in hand. Before entering, he asked, "Shouldn't we take this off so that they don't get ruined?" as he pointed to the bracelets.

"No," Sam said. "They're symbols." She thought of Vala's words, _he belongs to you_, _he is yours_, but chose something different. "They're symbols of our commitment, of the depth of our feelings," she added smiling.

He smiled, too, grabbed her hand again, and got into the bathroom. He did not think they needed symbols to remind themselves of their commitment, but if they put Sam's mind at ease, they were welcome. After all, in a marriage, even deep feelings as theirs could always use the help.


End file.
